Approaching Father’s Day – Joy and Grief

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An important part of Father’s Day is having great kids – two of whom I raised and two who were brought to our family as spouses.  Plus I have the kids who are loaned to us from our friends and siblings.  All are great in their own way and have been an important part of our grieving process.

I still have Meredith, my daughter and Amanda, Chris’ wife, and, soon, Nate as a son-in-law.

but I do not have Chris

With six weeks separating me from the shock and the complete devastation of getting the news, I have to say that I fear this Sunday.  Meredith, Amanda, and Nate – please know you mean the world to me and I know Gayle will hold me up through this time but there is something about a father and his son.

You know the saying “Hope for the best and plan for the worst.”  Well, I will not say I never thought this was possible but I certainly did not plan for it.  In fact, I was planning for the best – the day when he would get back, a trip to do some diving together, Meredith’s Wedding, etc.  I did not plan to have a Flag from a “Grateful Nation.”  I did not expect to have a Drexel Dragon in Chris’ honor.  I did not plan to think about what to do with donations and, honestly, I was the last person who I thought would have a letter from the President.  Thanks, but you can have all of them back

So, what will I do this Father’s Day?  Not sure.  I might turn off my cell phone after I talk to Meredith, Amanda and Nate.  Maybe I will go for a bike ride or a run or go sit quietly on a beach.  Probably, I will be thankful for what I have but then grieve more for what I have lost.  Yes, I do have great memories and I see the marvelous potential in each of the kids.  However, I saw such great potential in Chris too and every person who has spoken or written to me about Chris reminds me that even  I underestimated what he would and could be.

So, for Father’s Day, give me the gift of your thoughts and prayers once more:

  • For Amanda who misses Chris more than any of us can fathom
  • For Meredith who lost her brother and friend
  • For Nate as he deals with all of us
  • For Gayle and me as we try to grasp the how of going forward.

Most importantly

For every person in our military, father, son, mother, daughter, friend,   who is spending this day and so many more like it in a foreign land away from those they love.  They have voluntarily stepped into harm’s way to protect the weak from the strong, to bring justice and fairness to a land where that is not the norm and to offer freedom to people who are not.

 

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Author: John

Business Executive with Marketing, Product, Sales and General Management Experience. Currently, consulting in areas of strategic marketing, pricing excellence, key account management, and market driven innovation. Love to read, ride my bike, swim, compete in tri's, pick/drink wine, meet with friends, live life.

6 thoughts on “Approaching Father’s Day – Joy and Grief”

  1. John,

    You have just reminded me of fathers day out here in Basra, Iraq. I have had many od them for sure but thisone will be hard for me and you! I have three son’s..Gary Jr 29, Jordan 13, and Evan 10, and my little girl Kara 7. I have not seen in almost a year. My heart goes out to you on this day. I never thought life would deal the cards it has from those carefree days in Branchburg. I has lost my youngest children to divorce, but not gone forever. On this special day I will pray that you and I will have peace in our hearts and give us the strength to move forward. I have never felt so lonely in my life out here. I feel your pain. Hold on to what you can feel and touch. Never go a day without saying you love someone.

    Gary

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  2. John:

    I want to leave a comment but honestly I do not know what to say. Tears fill my eyes and chills run down my spine as I sit here typing this note. Just know I will be thinking about you, stay strong – Chris would want you to.

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  3. John,
    Aaron sent me your Fathers Day posting and I have cried several times reading it. I have sent it to my Men’s Bible Study group and asked for their prayers for you and your family. As Rob said above, there are really no words to convey the sorrow I feel for you and the family.
    I will stop and say a prayer for you on Fathers Day,
    Mike Gregerson

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  4. This year will be the 30th time I celebrated Fathers Day with out my Dad. My Dad left this world when I was just getting to know him as a man. I miss him dearly. My thoughts are with you on this day and my feelings for Chris will also be with me that day. I am with you not quite sure what I am going to do that day……… Godspeed to both of us !

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  5. Mr. Mosko, thank you so much for continuing to post. Chris’ EOD brother read the post and we talk about them at work here in the compound, during PT and when we raise our glasses. As always, say the word and it’s done. It has been and will continue to be my pleasure/honor to have known your son, his wife and the Mosko family.

    All the best,
    -Matt Myers

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  6. John,
    I came across your terrible loss completely by accident. My last name is also Mosko and there are not a lot families that carry that name. I also have a nephew named Christopher (my brother’s son) who is serving in the Navy and is stationed in San Diego. He is scheduled to be deployed soon though he has not been assigned a destination that I am aware of. I felt the need to reach out to you and your family.. I know we must be in the same age group as I have 2 daughters in their 20’s.
    My heart broke reading about the loss of your son. I know there are no words to console you, your wife, your daughter and her fiance’ and Amanda. I can easily see what a fine young man you and your wife have raised. I’m sure he is with you all every second of every day. May God guide you all as you try to come to terms with your devastating loss.. I shall keep you all in my prayers as well as my nephew and all the men and women who serve to protect us each and every day. We spend our lives as parents investing everything we have into our sons and daughters. You carry your son in your heart John, I know that’s not enough. It would never be enough for me and my husband either. With my sincerest condolences,. Kim Mosko

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